Is The New Age About Wokeism, Wellness and Merchandise?

It is possible to go on an ultra-high air miles wellness retreat to an “unspoiled” exotic location, to get massages, do fashionable yoga in the latest Instagram-able clothing, eat purging diets, and share the communal bathroom with people equipped with penises, breasts and who are full to the brim with big pharma produced synthetic hormones and who are sporting a “magnetised” butt plug made from asteroids of a bespoke design. One can wear ethical garments made in a Bangladeshi sweat shop. One might eat lab grown protein and have a vaginal chakra massage from a pervert. One may have to specify in advance pronoun choice and ethnicity in case someone called you a sheep shagger for being Welsh. No one seems upset about the colonial history of the English invading the land of my fathers. Perhaps we should sue them for reparations for exploitation and inflicting the Welsh knot so as to ethnically cleanse our language. Heinous bastards.

Do you think that people in Eastern Ukraine recognise the above wellness retreat as what the future holds for them?

There is a great deal of commercial interest in the whole wellness market, in ethically “responsible” clothing, cleaning products and business models. This market is not for the poor, the needy, the dispossessed and the tortured. It is largely for the “comfortable” relatively well off. There would not be commercial interest unless there is a buck in it.

If the motivation for teaching wellness is money, does that taint motive? Are people likely to make marketing claims beyond fact?

As we walked past a cosmetics show room today I said, “Come on in, pay top dollar for our potions which have not been clinically proven to have any positive measurable effect despite the expensive luxurious branding and advertising.” The wife suggested that I go into PR for the cosmetics industry.

Which is more insulting being called he or she when you deem that irrespective of your genetic make-up you prefer people to use the other pronoun or a 9mm bullet shot through your shoulder, or a piece of shrapnel from a downed suicide drone stuck in your spine?

Seems to me a whole lot of people have huge problems with reality and perspective.

Just as greenwashing pervades corporate PR, so does “ethical” virtue signalling pervade the so call “ethical” market. You can have bad ethics as well as good ethics, unspecified ethics are ill-defined.

There is a lot of hype and much less substance.


The incoming new age is not about new marketing opportunities, clichés, fads and fashions. It will be about reality and not glamor, illusion and silliness.

People do not yet like reality…

Having said this I am left with a problem how do I shift the 10,000 ethically sourced, vegan, penis scented candles which I have stored in the garage?

Mess Limericks

There once was a terrible mess

All over the house I confess

But it was not mine

Who made it this time

I will not clean it under duress

The room is an absolute state

There is not a second to wait

Two nights in a row

The dreams they did show

That people have lost touch with fate

It looks like some Branston pickle

Has fallen in ways which are fickle

All over the floor

Now blocking the door

And things are as sticky as treacle

If the right questions are found

When Mr Chaos abounds

One might start

To look in the heart

For ways and means that are sound

For behind secrets which are kept

Under grievances’ duvet well slept

One might find a clue

As to what is yet true

And not far under the carpet swept

A bacterial culture E. Coli

Multiplies under the sky

And this little strain

Enjoys a refrain

Feeding on fear in the pie

Two nights and dreamers both twice

Have dreams of messes and mice

Not ours to solve

Nor to evolve

It all hangs on a throw of the dice

So now these little rhymes

Are but signs of the times

Action quite quick

Before falling sick

Will stop anymore crimes

So in all the houses and homes

And beneath the sacred domes

Look for debris

Related to me

For what can be done to atone

If things continue to drift

Will open further a rift

That will not heal

Perhaps forever I feel

Now time to get on with the shift!!

So on this most misty of mornings

And just as the new day is dawning

The poet did write

As day follows night

To issue this song as a warning.

Justify Your love..

As you emptied the magazine

of .357 reasons why,

did you pause to reload?

Each hollow point

spreading traces

of shiny, justified lead

Did you keep a tally

as they mounted up,

your casings on the floor?

When I couldn’t prove

beyond a reasonable doubt,

did that gavel strike?

And when they chalked me up

to experience

did you applaud?

In the blue flashing lights

my mortal imprint fading

in the winter rain

And when Sherlock comes

looking for proof,

will he find it?

That line by line refutation

did it convince your heart?

Does it now?

I am sorry that

I could not justify my love


and you couldn’t yours….

Recollections May Differ

This phrase has been bandied about of late in reference to the famous Montecito hand-wringing tapes. For someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth {up his nose} Harry has some gripes about his life. In this he does not differ from many human beings, complaining and whinging are common pass times, not everyone gets a pay check for doing this.

“We had it tough, we had to get up before we went to bed, walk 10 miles to the pit, work 12 hours on a 24 inch coal seam and then walk 10 miles back for our supper. We had to crack the ice on the bath to have a wash. The youth today don’t know what tough means.”

A lot of people are unaware as to how they are perceived. They may imagine that they are seen very differently. In general people’s recollections are not objective they are biased, rarely are they balanced. Harry’s catharsis has changed the way he is viewed. I think the catharsis will have long term benefits for him as a being. On the whole, better out than in.

I have never yet seen the sunshine out of anyone’s arse, yet some behave as if they can manifest this phenomenon. And yes in every case, if you put butter in your mouth at 37˚C it will melt!

People who are all Kool and the Gang may struggle to understand that others may not wish to join that gang, hallowed be its name. {I have met people from universities in Oxford and Cambridge who expected me to show awe. I am not worthy.}

Those who buy into their own hype may fail to understand that in the greater world they are not seen with the same self-perceived rosy spectacles. Others might see them perhaps as arrogant self-absorbed bar stewards, or even as a bunch of poorly spelled Anglo-Danish king(s).

People who imagine themselves the great and the good, may find themselves on my mental Wayne Kerr pile. My respect for them may be lacking and inconsistent with their own elevated and lofty self-image. They may fail to understand that bargepoles are bilateral and not unilateral. I may have the plague but perhaps the have the pox?

The only thing that is sure, a given, is recollections may {and will} differ…

Hello Langley!

Sister Gwyneth Pritchard

from Abergavenny

says they don’t wire tap

NHS hospitals

well at least, not that many

Like her colleague

nurse Blodwen Jones

she doubts that

they are interested

in my mobile phones

The firewall here is intact

says my friend Fireman Sam

they don’t hide mikes

nor fisheye cameras

on that woman, with the pram

And when I meet on Monday

with the well-known august Dr Brain

he says that Mossad

are not here for me

they camp in the grounds, just to train

The FSB have now long since left

says the man in the bed next

they know he knows

all their codes

as he has sent them to Putin, in a text

Still, we count everyday

the visitor’s umbrella stand

just to be certain

and be sure

for strange isotopes, might be at hand

And when the server goes down

it is just a gremlin not the Kremlin

the CIA and FBI

do not listen

to the words we send

it is of course, all pretend

Sister Gwyneth Pritchard

from Abergavenny

says they don’t wire tap

NHS hospitals

well at least, not that many

Ah but what about the Alien horde?

They can’t wait, to get me aboard

my organs are precious

can’t you see?

They want to experiment on me

Hush now baby don’t you fret

and don’t you worry

tonight, we have a chicken curry

and before the lights go out

we can watch the X-Factor show

and even Langley will never know.

A Quantum Miscellany

Drop by drop the faucet fills

the stainless empty pail

counting all the seconds with

an attosecond accuracy

Tearing all the electrons out

to leave behind an empty shell

charged high at the core

feeding the plasma in his veins

Each bag of livingness

calls him on his cell

a mitochondrial mouth

ever hungry in the nest

The flickering dipole

drives the van through Walls

binding tight and light

through long potentials all

Dense as a static cloud

he catches moments

in the field of magnets

conducting superlatives at tea

And the see moss circuits

tick and whirr to abacus

the particles in a beam

where cars collide at G,e,V

Each sparkle packet

is superimposed on fate

and collapses fungible

upon a special string of dates

The men brains over his eyes

see back before absurd

when was even time

and the Word was ever heard


Before in principio erat

when the silence stirred

and the gravitas

became so very bang intense

Things were more simple then

with no need for learning Zen

then came things Q.E.D.

making puzzles, for you and me

And now worlds move as fast as C

in houses that are made of planks

these days there are no constant sights

when all lead lives that are, so tight

Life lived in simulations fine

made real in Monte Carlo time

where all drive Vectras to and fro

uncertain where their life will go

Ab initio is still the start

equating exact, each manmade part

I wonder when it was

that humans lost their, open heart?

The Loony Quiz ©

To find out if you are a loony or not tick one box in either column A or column B, for each question.

Do I get impatient often?yesno
Do I lose my rag in traffic jams?yesno
Do I feel offended quite often?yesno
Do I think “life is not fair?”oftenrarely
Am I prone to over reaction?yesno
If I don’t get my way do I sulk?oftenrarely
Do I bear grudges?yesno
Do I seek to get even?yesno
If someone does better than me, do I get upset?yesno
Do I try to pull others down to feel better about myself?yesno
Have I ever had a bout of auto-cranio-rectal disease?oftenrarely
Am I special?yesno
Does nobody appreciate me?yesno
Must I always be busy?yesno
Does silence scare me?yesno
Must I always be the winner?yesno
Do I always know best?yesno
Am I always right?yesno
Do I enjoy opining upon things I don’t really know?yesno
Do I enjoy gossip and trust it?yesno
Am I impressed by the unproven opinions of others?yesno
Am I genuinely opened minded?noyes
Are people who don’t believe the same things as me?crazysane
Is my belief system the only correct one?yesno
Is advancement better than happiness?yesno
Is kudos the be all and end all?yesno
If I win prizes / competitions does that make me feel better than?yesno
Am I a grand person or one of the little people?grandlittle
Do rules apply to me?noyes
Is material plane status important to me?yesno
Am I a bit of a tense motherfucker?yesno
Am I happy and at peace with the universe?noyes

Now count up the number of As and Bs.

In your best judgement are you a loony or not, what do you think?