Resentment and a Moment of Clarity

“Why was he born so beautiful
Why was he born at all
He’s no bloody use to anyone
He’s no bloody use at all”

I think it reasonable to say that there is a great deal of resentment in the world today and much of that can be found amongst those who have little, in reality, to resent. Resentment can come from thwarted ambition and when life does not fulfil the conditions which we impose upon it. It can walk hand in hand with a “It is not fair mummy” mentality. It can stem from unmet expectations when a sense of entitlement is not sufficiently fulfilled. It can arise in envy and jealousy. People can resent having to put some effort in, some work and this can cause resentment.

For example, I published six academic articles during my Ph.D. That was from only around nine months actual experimental time. I used to party a lot {vast amount} and it appeared to others that it was all too easy for me. I know that some resented me for this. “He smokes weed and gets pissed it is not fair that he is publishing and I am not.”

Resentment is an astral-emotional thing, it emits negative thoughts and energies at the object of resentment and that is in many cases a fellow human being. Some people are born with a metaphorical chip on their shoulder and resent the entire world, others are spoiled rotten and when they do not get their way they fall into resentful sulking.

For most of my young life, I was pretty good at most things, though never top of the class. I put in enough effort and willingly so but never really excelled. In school I captained the rugby second fifteen and played either hooker or open side flanker. My friend captained the first fifteen as hooker. He played for South-east England at that position and even had an England trial. He was head boy. I used to help him with his homework {he was not a scholar} and many lunch times we would squat 100kg together inter alia. {Maybe this is why I now have osteo-arthritis.} When there was a crunch match, I would be drafted in to the first team as flanker. I was fast and could give the wings a good run for their money, but not beat them.

I never really resented much in life. Do your best and see what happens without obsessing was pretty much my way of looking at things. I have never really been jealous beyond a hint. That is perhaps because most things came relatively easy to me, all I had to do was concentrate and put the effort in. At university I put in a good shift in my final year so as to remain a student. If Sue Tollerfield had not gotten one more mark out of a thousand than me, the trajectory of my life would have been entirely different. On such little things a fate hangs.

If one accepts life as it is rather than how we imagine it should be or ought to be, there is no resentment. The universe does not give one hoot about the conditions we impose upon it in our “minds” and “emotions”. Our made up imaginary conditions are the cause of our own resentment; the universe is not to blame and it is not my fault if you resent me.

One fine day I was contemplating the above rugby song. I had a moment of clarity.  The one thing that I resented the most was being born. “Oh shit, not into that meat again. Do I have to?” It was a very real sensation I resented my own in-carn-ation. In that moment much fell off my shoulders and I was as crystal clear as can be, reincarnation happens.

I’ll posit something, on one level we each have a resentment about having to take on a meaty vehicle again and again and face all the challenges inherent with being corporeal. We may not be sufficiently aware to feel this.

It not my fault that you incarnated in this lifetime, you are the one responsible for that!!  

It is not my fault if you reincarnate again with accumulated and accrued karma in a few hundred years or so.

If you have failed to acquire some karmic merit as opposed acquiring to material things, I have not advised you that this is a good thing to do.

If you want to blame someone for your next meaty sojourn, look in a mirror.

Blame and resentment are cut from the same cloth and are in many ways cousins…they are both toxic emotions which “poison” those who hold them close and imagine themselves justified in the expression of these unpleasant forms.

Resentment can be full of bile, blame full of ire. Neither makes the world a better more harmonious place.

“Do your best and see what happens without obsessing…”

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