Whimsical Limericks

There once was man from Brazil

Who quite often forgot his pill

When blood came in waves

He thought of close shaves

Only now he could be, terminally ill

—-

There was a fellow from Nantucket

Who kept all his eggs in a bucket

As day turned to night

He became a Shi’ite

And went on a package to Phuket

—-

He knew a boy from Bangkok

Who kept all his jewels in a sock

They were cosy and warm

And safe from all harm

Going round like hands on a clock

—-

This boy had very bad sight

And a handshake most terribly tight

To be caught in his grip

Was a terrible trip

One which he practiced by day and by night

—-

He had a friend from Sydney

From whom he borrowed a kidney

Thus, when time came to piss

He no longer would miss

And thanked him for the urea he rid me

—-

Now Michael was due an extraction

And he wanted no single distraction

So, he took up his fiddle

And went for a piddle

Then fell for a fatal abstraction

—-

He met an Ostrich called Karma

And tried his best to charm her

Despite all his words

He got only turds

So he stopped trying to teach, the Dharma

—-

And the morale of these songs

Is on how to write wrongs

Watch out for those curls

And tight winding whorls

Or the barber will get them with tongs